Speaking of Dollars

Enticing 'Award' Is Sting to Pocketbook

By Robert S. Rosefsky I think my wife is one of the outstanding young women of America. She cooks, keeps house, raises kids, does charity work and puts up with me the last item probably being the most demand-

ing.

An organicalled

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Out standing Young Women

ROSEFSKY

of America also thinks that my wife is one of the outstanding young women of America, because she-and probably thousands of others-just received a very fancy packet in the mail notifying her of this honor. Isn't that nice?

Now, all this fame and acclaim does not do anybody much good if it's kept a secret, right? Publish it, for the world to see! And sell the book to the award

recipients and to their parents and in-laws whose names they've noted on the biography card which the honorees are requested to send in-along with their check for $15.95 which gets them one copy of the book ("luxurious leatherette heirloom binding with gold embossing").

FOR $3 EXTRA you can get the "deluxe edition, with gold-stamped page edges and special ribbon." And for another $8 you can get the official OYW gold charm (more particularly described in smaller print as "10-carat gold-filled"). The country club set will simply be all abuzz.

How was my wife singled out for such an honor? Did some blue-ribbon panel of judges deliberate for weeks over the matter? No. This is how she was chosen:

A year or so ago, an old friend, whom my wife had not seen more than once in

the last five years, was similarly "nominated.” She bought the book and when it arrived it was accompanied by a card asking her to name three other young women whom she thought should be "nominated." She named my wife. Why? For a lark. Thus my wife was "nominated."

Old friend also named a young gentleman, who is known to be of homosexual tendencies. He too was subsequently "nominated" for the honor.

SOME TIME after her initial purchase, the old friend received a second copy in the mail, which she very definitely did not want. She returned it to the sender, but they would not take no for an answer. They have been billing her for it ever since.

Legitimate honors are one thing. They are scarce as chicken lips, but you do not have to pay for them.

Vanity, thy name is woman, and if thou falleth prey to the classic enticement which pitteth thy ego against thy common sense, then know ye well that thy pocketbook might be lighter, and thy name might be inscribed on more mailing lists than thou can shaketh a stick at.